Mittwoch, 31. Mai 2017

Goodbye Melbourne, Goodbye Australia. For now - Or: my heart is breaking, where is my wanderlust?!

I am leaving. Can you believe that?? To be honest.. I can't. And I don't want to! People keep asking, if I'm excited. Sure, I really want to see a lot of people and I love Sri Lanka so it will be amazing to be back but my brain hasn't arrived at that stage yet. It just screams "noooooooooo! I don't want to pack this backpack! I want to stay! Settle! Rest! Stay!!!" So I'm sitting here, at the airport and type my last words in Australia...

bye bye Melbourne sky...

I assume every backpacker comes to that point, where the wanderlust gets a little sleepy and the longing for setteling takes over. I did not expect that to happen ever and not at all I expected Australia to be the country where it would happen.
I remember how Laura, a Berlin friend, said to me before I left to India: "But don't you fall in love with an Australien and never come back, I see that happening!" Hm. Not a particular one but I guess, I did fall in love with a lot of Australians. And with a city.
Melbourne. My home, my base, my place to be.
my house my home
It's hard to explain, how home I feel here but every time, I walk out of Jewell Station and see the well known graffitis ahead, the small alley ways and the old trees that are making the alley ways even smaller, I instantly feel home. A feeling I thought I had everywhere, where my backpack is.
In fact... I had not. I love a lot of places. I miss a lot of places. I wanna see a lot of places again. But not a single one feels home, like Brunswick in Melbourne does. And did from the first day on.

...or a chicken
a canoe in the garden...
I remember exactly how I felt, when I went to the interview with my then-future housemates. I walked out of the train station and was in love. I was hoping so bad to get this place and with every step I took, the feeling of arrival became stronger. Luckily I got the room and the feeling has not changed ever since. Every part in my body relaxes as soon as I walk down to my lovely little house with the wild garden. I love the fact to always find something new there. Last time, I walked into my front yard, there was a canoe. Why not?
I love this house, eventho we have mouses climbing in our toaster from time to time. I love my housemates, as diverse we might be. I love the area, I love my Melbourne friends, who still are so damn good to talk to, after I haven't seen them in 5 months. I love my acro-community, those people who I and - more important - my body trusts
without any hesitation.
can you spot
housemate number 6..?
I learned so much here, maybe not as much as I learned in Nepal but deeper or somehow more realistic in a way. Nepal taught me a lot. But it was about me travelling, about my free soul. Handeling problems. Melbourne taught me, who I am in terms of future, achivements, social role and purpose in life. I've never seen my path that clear and I've never felt to not want to leave that badly. This is, where I belong, this is, where I want to be. Right now and for however long.

When I came to Melbourne, I thought it would be for a couple of months, make some money and go back to Asia and travel. Never happened.
I can't even say what it is about this city. It's not at all, how I thought, Australia would be. I expected beachlife, Outback and a lot of laid-back surfing. Actually, Melbourne is quite European. It's cold in winter, warm in summer, it's big and like a city, it has shops and public transport.
Melbourne streetart
I still find it weird, that sushi roles are sold in a complete roll instead of little pieces (the whole hand smells after!), I miss Apfelschorle and Laugenbrötchen and I hate the fact that every coffeedate leads to 1 hour in public transport (one reason, why I left Berlin...) It's way too expensive and let's not talk about immigration! I spoke to a lot of people lately and we all agree: Australia is stupid, not to want us.
But on the other side, people care about each other. I see people
someone put a flower on this
homeless' bed. We should all
do more of this!!!
shaking hands of homeless people, without any prejudices. I see people getting social active, without blaming others. When I walked through Melbourne in a hurry the other day, I still talked to 3 strangers. I love the 7/11 coffee (real Latte for 1$!) and the op-shops! I love the fact that tradies getting a shitload of money for working with their hands. I love the fact, that you can easily make 2000$, if you're working in hospitality or some other job. I love how the houses are low here instead of having skyscratchers everywhere. I love, how the
sky and the clouds and the stars feel somehow closer.
my favorite spot
the little fountain in
princes park
I love the little fountain in the park close to my home and the sound of the nearby zoo if the wind is right. I love the "no worries, mate" and the little chats in the supermarket. There is so much, I love about living here!
cozy backyard and favorite
working space
But now it does happen, I gotta leave and I am not sure, how to feel about it. Yes, I'll be back in September. The question is just: And then? For how long? 2nd year visa? Thanks to my potato crew and Tassie I did manage to get my 88 days somehow. But is that really what I want now? In fact, it's not. Yes, I want to stay here but I'm over jobs. I have done hospitality and fundraising for too long. I know, what I want, what I'm capable of and want to start now.
So I applied for a Master. And for a scholarship (no, I do not have 40.000$ fees... And yes, I know it would be so much smarter to study in my home country Germany, where studying is for free....). And I'll apply for many more. Fingers crossed...

friends from different groups
connecting on my birthday
in my backyard
Anyway. It is a weird feeling to packing a bag without being super excited. It's a new feeling for me. I always thought (and was told so many times) that I am living the dream. And now, I would be happy to swap with anyone living here, hand over my bag and my flight ticket and just becoming super boring.
my room and base
I know, this is not completely true. I will always catch the wanderlust again. But for the first time I really want to have one place as a base, where I can come back to. As we all have phases in our lives: This is my current one. But we remember what 2017 stands for...? Yes: A new beginning. Guess I have to leave to come back in a new way.

wanderlust in Melbourne
with Sarah

My Mom is quite unhappy that I chose Australia as this base - it's hard to find something more far away from Germany...

And I am too, to be honest. Makes things quite complicated. But it is how it is. A free soul, a traveller and nomad found a setteling place. At least for now.
Let's hope that the stupid immigration lets me stay until the wanderlust takes over again.
And for now: Goodbye Melbourne, goodbye Australia, I can't believe, one year is over already. Thank you for this year, you had quite an impact. I love you and all of you and I'll be back. But first: Sri Lanka, baby! And then: Germany! Oh yes, I did miss you, too.. Indeed! :)

Melbourne my love

"arrived". Yes I have.

one last time... Bye bye Jewell station.

Have you ever felt like setteling down or has the wanderlust always been stronger? Or is it the opposite and you never felt wanderlust? What are your experiences with immigration and co.?
Share in the comments below :)


  1. Hi my travelling soul, I totally understand that you felt in love with Melbourne, I loved it there myself when I was there many years ago... and I'm happy to read that you found such a nice place and wonderful people there. But don't be so harsh to yourself. Travelling is wonderful, energising, and broadens you horizon in so many ways... nevertheless it can be exhausting to always tell the same things (where you from where you going if you have seen this and that, how long you been travelling...) to the people you meet. It is on the other side also wonderful to have people that know you, and I don't meant that they know your age or can answer al the questions above... but that understand you without many words, whit whom you can be grumpy for a week and they know that you still are a happy and positive person, that know who you are beside the daily shades. To find a place where you feel home is a great thing, so don't be so negative about it! You nearly sound like an old grumpy hippie that just tries to be everything but the establishment without recognising that that makes him/her even more depending on it. Just do what feels good and right for you!!! If that means to stay somewhere for a while wonderful. Don't limited yourself by expectations of others (even if that others are a previous self of yours). Big kiss and a lot of love from Germany

  2. Very true, thanks for honest words! :)
    I think, the negativ aspect for me is currently more the visa situation and the question, how to get back to where I felt home at...
    But you're right: it's wonderful to travel and it's just as wonderful to feel home. Very different but both wonderful! :)